I’ve become quite picky in who I would like to listen to me. Ever since many of my friends do NVC, I just prefer that way of listening. And..I hear the same from them.
So what is it that makes NVC listening more attractive?
It’s a lot about what NOT to do. And it’s one thing in particular…
In my video I’m sharing what it is and what you can do instead.
Let me know in the comments what you thought of this!
Hmm… all this is very interesting to me. I sometimes have difficulty when someone’s story goes on for a long time. It seems that I can track what they’re saying up to a certain point and then it feels like there’s too much information. I have at times told somebody that I was having trouble tracking all that they were saying, and would it be all right if I kind of reflected back what was being said. I sensr that it’s okay to interrupt, if you will, by guessing at the need or the feeling that may be underneath what the person is sharing. It seems to be kind of an art form and will require some practice on my part. But it’s all very exciting to be able to get better at communicating, listening and expressing.
From this video I hope I will remember distinction betweeen “listening mode” and “expressing mode”.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge, Marianne.
Thanks for letting me know Mirek!
Thank you Marianne, very helpful video! I sometimes experience starting to share something with a friend and he or she will start to share his or her experience as well (exactly what you described). Could you give me some tips on how to skillfully express my need in that moment to finish sharing and being listened to before my friend starts sharing his/her experience? I notice I find this challenging as I have a fear of not being polite to them when I stop their sharing or interrupt their story. Thank you! 🙂
Hi Miranda, very relevant question! Ideally I would hear more and guide you live on this, but I’ll try to give you advice based on what I hear now:
1) To ‘finish sharing’ is not a need. If you would talk with me, I would love to hear what is your need. What makes it important for you in that moment to talk uninterrupted?
2) What is your concrete request to me? To be silent for 5 minutes? Do you want to hear me after that? Clarity would help me to feel safe with you.
3) My guess is announcing your wish is scary because you need some trust that you can take care of the both of you if she does not like your request? If that is the case, the most connecting for me would be if you would say exactly that, as that is what is most alive in you: ‘Im scared to ask you this, I want to care for both of us and Im trying to figure out how.’Does this help in any way? Let me know how it goes!