How do you address something with another person? Sharing your need helps tremendously. But there is another crucial thing that I see my students sometimes forget.
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Marianne van Dijk
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Marianne van Dijk2023-12-08 10:21:232023-12-08 10:23:37When NOT To Talk about Polarizing Topics
I like that you emphasize things that seems obvious, but they aren’t.
Two reasons why I don’t like when somebody come with a ” shopping list” of all the things he didn’t like.
1.I think to myself “Do you mean that since then you felt resentment and kept grudge ? And I thought that everything is OK with us.”
I feel pain 1.because I thought that our relationships is based on honesty 2. because it means I might gave you the feeling that you can’t be open with me. And that make me sad.
The second reason is that sometimes its too much and overwhelming to process all the ” dislikes” that can be seen as criticism.
So ,one at a time , is a good advice and preferable not too late!
Thank you Marian!
I love to follow your videos.
Hi Kettie, thanks for your appreciation, and I like that you mention another downside of the ‘shopping list-approach’- that you as a listener start wondering why the speaker didn’t share earlier.
“How would it be for you if …?” and “How was it for you to …?” have been game-changers in my relationship … Learning to consider someone else’s needs as I communicate my own has been a powerful lesson. I cannot thank you enough, Marianne.
Thanks Mary I love to hear this as feedback, Im considering to do something to make the importance of those sentences even more clear to people!
“How would it be for you if …?” and “How was it for you to …?” have been game-changers in my relationship … Learning to consider someone else’s needs as I communicate my own has been a powerful lesson. I cannot thank you enough, Marianne.