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If you would really really love for your partner to do Nonviolent Communication, but they are lukewarm about it..or maybe even hate it! There is a lot you can do to take care of yourself and your relationship in that case. In this video I share 7 tips!

 

 

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4 replies
  1. Heather says:

    This video is really helpful.
    It helpful to be reminded NVC is one strategy.
    My husband says don’t psychoanalyse me.
    I don’t want you reading my mind.

    Reply
    • Cherie says:

      I left my partner because of NVC. I had a problem with the lack of informed consent around the use of NVC. The lack of confidentiality, the lack of boundaries when using NVC,the fact that all he would talk about is NVC and he wouldnt respond to me in a conflict unless I was doing NVC. I felt like I was living with a NVC programmed robot. I felt that he was psychoanalysing me and everyone else all the time and yet he never shared his feelings with me. I found the lack of recognition between the inequality of power often evident in a conflict between marginalised people and those that aren’t disconcerting.I found the idea that everything is an interpretation when applied to all aspects of life tediously simplistic. I liked your video however it is my experience that NVC when it is the only lens someone can look through can be very difficult to live with unless you are also looking at life solely through an NVC lens. I often just yearned for a ‘normal conversation’.

    • Marianne van Dijk says:

      Hi Cherie, Im sorry for your experience..from reading what you describe about your partner, he was very fascinated by NVC but not applying it entirely (analysing is not part of NVC, and sharing feelings vulnerably very much is, and so is consent to use it). And I agree that it needs to be seen as one possible method, with limitations, like any method, so that it’s important to also look beyond that.Thanks for sharing your experience, it’s important to see that the success of a method stands or falls by the application of it, and the level to which you take into account other’s wishes in that. Wishing you the best!

  2. Juan says:

    I loved your video. Everything you said make sense to me and in some way has happened in my relationship.
    What has been more difficult to me is how to manage my self when I’m very upset and my partner said to me “oh great so that’s what you ‘ve learned in NVC, You see that’s not useful for nothing, you are losing your time…”

    Reply

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