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When I just started my business, I was insecure about my quality as a trainer and feeling uncertain about approaching people that follow me (you!). So whenever I saw my fellow NVC trainers posting things on Facebook or writing emails, I would nervously read what they were up to and click around on their website. I vaguely thought this would keep me informed, but all it did was making me feel more nervous.
So then I decided to go on a Comparison Diet. I unfollowed the posts of my colleagues. Not because I didn’t want to learn from them, but I wanted to choose when I’m in the right mood to do so, and Facebook would feed me the posts whenever Facebook decided it was the right time! I just wanted to act more from the principle that there is no sensible way to compare yourself with others. None at all!
I’m sharing about the effect of the Comparison Diet and other ways to deal with envy and insecurity in the second part of my Ultimate guide to Jealousy video.

 

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When I was five I was envious of my friends toys. I had these tame wooden toys, given to me by my well-meaning hippy parents. My two best friends had Big Pink Plastic Barbie doll houses. With soft teeny tiny pink blankets. I had such stings of envy towards them that I plotted to steal something from their doll houses, if only one of those teeny tiny pink blankets – just to give my wooden blocks a fancy cover. 

Apart from a love for pink (as you MIGHT be able to tell from my Youtube thumbnails), things have changed quite a bit for me. First of all: i’m no longer considering stealing Barbie accessories. Secondly, the envy itself. Now it’s not that Im never ever feeling envious. I believe it’s part of being human. But with Nonviolent Communication and a few other tools I’m able to move through it super fast. One thing that I learned to keep in mind, is that the envy is never directly about the Barbie doll house that the other has. Or the real life mansion. Or the looks they have. Or the kick-ass business they built.

I’m sharing with you what it IS really about, and 3 ways to move through envy and jealousy super easily, in my Ultimate Guide to dealing with Jealousy. I call it ‘jealousy’ in this title because that is what most of you search for, but there is a difference between jealousy and envy and a different solution – I will share this in the video as well.

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‘How we resolved the conflict about our carpet’
You might say: ‘but Marianne, I like all that mindful conflict resolution and stuff, but what if it’s just about something silly like what carpet are we going to put in the living room? Can’t I just push a bit for what I want and it will be just fine?’
And I would say: ‘NO YOU CANT!’ Kidding. Of course you can. But. There is an after effect. When you push for what you want, you start with the assumption that it’s needed for you to push for what you want, that it is not EASY for you to receive what you want in life. That others don’t want that for you, or maybe you yourself don’t think you are deserving. It is a deeeeep thing. And so resolving a disagreement properly is about assuming that life will give you what you need, that YOU can bring yourself what you need. It’s about loving yourself. Yes, even talking about the decision for a carpet is about loving yourself. Now in order to make this a bit more practical, me and my boyfriend are going to demonstrate a self-loving, friction free conflict resolution about a disagreement we had. Bonus: you will find out what carpet goes in our living room!

 

 

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Having a sense of being heard is one of the most essential things to keep your relationship thriving. Is your partner not listening to you as much as you would like? You might be missing just one simple thing…

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Do you say ‘no’ when your bed partner is doing something that is ok-ish? That’s right. I’m not talking about saying ‘No’ when there is a super clear NO, visible for you and everyone around you in a radius of a 100 kilometers. I’m talking about this gray zone in which you are tolerating something. Because you liked it last time. Because you liked it a minute ago. Because you might start to like it in a minute. Because you love this person. Ever been in that situation? I have, and I’ve had an amazing process with a surprising result when it comes to this, and will share my tips & tricks with you about how to say no when the ‘no’ is not so loud, in this video!

 

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‘”Nonviolent Communication”?…but I’m not a violent person!’ Have you heard this kind of reaction to the term Nonviolent Communication? Or maybe you have resistance or confusion around the term yourself? Check this video to find out how to deal with any unpleasant emotions that the name often brings. And maybe you have suggestions for a new name? Let me know in the comments of the video!

 

 

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If you are dealing with PMS, or have a partner who is, this video is for you! You might be dealing with irritability, mood swings, and exhaustion in the week before menstruation, and maybe you have tried to deal with this on a physical level. PMS is often treated as a physical discomfort, and there are lost of videos with advice around exercise, diet, yoga..

But in reality you might not always manage to get the results you were hoping for, and I believe that the way that you talk to yourself about your cycle and unpleasant signs of it, and the the level to which you’ve figured out things with the people you live with really determines how you experience your cycle.

I will give you 5 tips to make sure talking to yourself and others about the pre-menstrual phase goes smooth, so you have an easier, supported experience. Let’s open a dialogue about this!!

 

 

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If you heard about Nonviolent Communication, but you are still scared to share your message with someone, check out this video in which I’m giving you 5 tips around mindset, strategy and self care when it comes to sharing a scary message. I will also give you tips how to make it connecting and thus less likely to be hurtful for the other person, with the help of Nonviolent Communication. Let me know in the comments what you thought of it!

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If you would really really love for your partner to do Nonviolent Communication, but they are lukewarm about it..or maybe even hate it! There is a lot you can do to take care of yourself and your relationship in that case. In this video I share 7 tips!

 

 

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Have you seen the recording of Marshall Rosenberg’s phenomenal San Francisco workshop? There are a lot of gems in there about how to create easy connection, but it is 3 hours long.. so I selected the most helpful principles he shares in this workshop and will present them for you in this video. Trying to make live easier for you all. Let me know what you thought of it in the comments!

 

 

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