NVC when you are easily overwhelmed

Transcript:

If you are kind of overwhelmed by your feelings, maybe because there’s a lot going on in your life at the moment.. or maybe you are just the kind of person that feels intensely.. then this video is for you. I am going to share with you a very simple tip that I got from an NVC mindfulness trainer. And the tip, it starts from a principle that is also very simple, which is that you are not your feelings.

So sometimes when you are overwhelmed, it might seem that these feelings of sadness, or anger, or panic, or fear.. are all there is. That’s kind of the definition of overwhelmed: it’s bigger than you. And the thing is that as long as you notice that you are feeling these things, there is also a part of you that is an observer. Which means there is not just the feeling, there is also the observer. Which means you are always more than your feelings.

And the thing is, to know this is not enough. It needs to be reflected in your thoughts about your feelings and your way of speaking about your feelings. So that’s what we’re going to do. So the way we are going to say it is, instead of saying, “I am sad”, which is basically saying that “I am sad” – like I’m just sad and that’s all there is.. You are going to say: “there is a part of me that is sad”, or “there is a part of me that feels sadness”.  And what this does, is that it gives your system the reassurance of this principle that you are more than your feelings, which means that you can carry them.

And it is kind of like your feelings become these little pets, that need some attention, some love and care, but you are more than just your pet. It belongs to you, this pet, but it’s not everything there is.

So maybe you think now, that’s great, but my feelings are super big, I cannot say “just part of me feels like this”.. So here’s the thing: you don’t need to diminish your feelings at all. You can totally say: “part of me feels extremely sad”. Your feelings can still be allowed to be as big as they are. It’s just that it’s going to be reflected that you are also still there.

And the next thing is, to also put this into practice in the way you share your feelings. Because you are going to notice, if you share this way, other people will also be more spacious to hear your feelings. So you can also say to other people “part of me feels a bit angry”. This is going to be really helpful as well.

So, in order to share your feelings, actually the step that goes before this is to know what you feel. Because that can also be hard, right? When you are overwhelmed.. what is it even that is going on?

So I have a list of feelings. If you don’t have that yet, it’s on my website, I can send it to you for free. Just go to my website CupofEmpathy.com and if you sign up for my email then you get that and a bunch of other helpful stuff. So every time you feel overwhelmed, just start by taking that card, and then you tell yourself “part of me is feeling   ….“.